She wanted a mix of flirty and romantic, so we played around and had fun in the studio for the occasion! I love how these turned out, and am so glad we got to do a belated birthday session for her!
—Sam
When Sebastian and I talked about what a gender affirming session would look like for him as a trans man, he said that one of the things that helps him feel most centered in his gender is leather, and puppy play. I had heard of puppy play, but didn’t know much about it, so Sebastian was kind enough to explain it to me, and even gave me a little crash course on the overlap between the leather community and pup community. He also wanted to work some fun top energy into his session, which we absolutely did!
Sebastian’s session was a blast and I am so honored to have been able to photograph him!
—Sam
Marie (@the_spiritual_candy on instagram) arrived for her session with $100 worth of candy in a large tote bin, and a clear vision for how she wanted her session to go. I normally have a bit of a moody vibe to a lot of my portraits (my inner goth kid coming out to play), but when Marie told me that her vision for her session was bright, colorful, and filled with whimsical candy and yoga-based play, I knew I finally had a use for that bright yellow backdrop at the studio! Marie did her yoga flow in a sea of candy, and we got photos of it, and they were awesome! We also did a little floral-based stuff at the very end, before all the candy cleanup commenced. I love these photos and I hope you all do too!
—Sam
I love the different styles and presentations, and Wendi’s take on what femme + masculine look like on her was stunning!
—Sam
But when they saw some neon-themed images on my instagram page, they were smitten, and we decided to go the route of a faux shower neon light setup (what, you don’t have neon lights in your shower at home?) and it was awesome! I’m so excited Red was up for playing around with neon, getting sprayed down with a water bottle, and being a vulnerable and all around amazing human for our session! Enjoy these fun photos!
—Sam
For some folks, booking their first boudoir + empowerment session feels like a full-body “fuck yes!”, and that is truly awesome, but this blog post isn’t for those folks. This blog post is for the folks who are on the fence. Who want to book but aren’t sure if they should spend the money on themselves or if they’ll even like the photos because the photos are of them. That is who this blog post is for. So, how do you know if booking a session with me is right for you?
If you’ve already been working on your body image
Boudoir + empowerment photos can be a powerful tool on your body image journey, and for some folks, a session like this can be the catalyst to having a better body image and kinder thoughts about their body. Other folks may need to get to body neutrality before they’re ready to view themselves as worthy of being documented. I can show you how beautiful and worthy you are, but I can’t make you believe it if you’re not ready. If you’re truly not sure where you fall on this spectrum, let’s chat!
If you’re ready to do this for yourself, not solely for a partner’s benefit
Do we all love when our partners think we’re hot? I think most of us do. BUT, these photos and this experience aren’t about your partner (unless you’re doing a partner session of course), they’re about you. YOU are worthy of being photographed even if your partner never sees these photos, or even if you’re single. You deserve to do a thing that is solely for you and no one else. If other people benefit? Awesome, but they’re not the main focus here. If you’re not in a place where you can do something solely for yourself whether or not it directly benefits someone else, you may need to work up to a session, and that’s okay.
If you’re ready to believe that you are worthy of love and respect (from yourself)
You don’t have to already have achieved perfect self-love (does that exist?) to book a session, but you do have to be ready to take the next step in your self-love journey. You do have to be ready to see yourself as worthy of love and respect and being documented, even if you don’t quite feel that way yet. You have to want to see yourself that way while understanding that seeing yourself that way isn’t contingent upon changing your body first. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, you just have to be ready to have the conversation with yourself.
If you’re still on the fence about whether a boudoir + empowerment session is right for you, let’s talk! I promise my goal isn’t to talk you into a session if you’re not ready. My goal is to answer any questions you have about what to expect, and to help provide you with some food for thought on what a session can provide you, and then you decide when the right time is for you. :)
—Sam
On average, boudoir clients can expect to spend somewhere between $3000 - $7000, depending heavily on the experience of the photographer, the area of the country where the photographer is based, and the packages each photographer offers.
Why so expensive? It’s a very reasonable question, and I’d like to help break it down for you.
First, and most importantly, I’d like to say that only you can decide if boudoir photos are worth the cost for you specifically. No one can make that determination for you. But you deserve to invest in yourself and your body image journey. And you deserve to work with a professional who makes you feel comfortable and seen, produces work that showcases your glorious, badass self, and who knows what they’re doing.
Many folks wonder why boudoir photography is so much more expensive than a regular portrait session, but boudoir + empowerment photos aren’t like a traditional portrait session, and they are considerably more time intensive for the photographer than say a family portrait session. I’ll show the difference below:
What goes into a boudoir session:
Pre-session phone consultation (30 min)
Emails/messaging back & forth prior to session (3-5 hours)
Shoot setup and prep time (1 hour)
Shoot tear down and clean up time (1 hour)
Shooting the session itself (1-2 hours)
Post-processing/editing and retouching (10-15 hours)
Album and prints - design, ordering, quality control, etc. (3-7 hours)
Client education, prep guide, etc. (30 minutes to 1 hour)
Image reveal session (1 hour)
Business management including social media, blog, contracting, etc., per session (1-2 hours)
That’s 22 to 35 hours per session!
What goes into a family portrait session:
Emails/messaging back & forth prior to session (1-2 hours)
Shooting the session itself (1-2 hours)
Post-processing/editing and retouching (3-6 hours)
Business management including social media, blog, contracting, etc., per session (1 hour)
That’s 6-11 hours per session. See the difference?
Now let’s look the hard costs associated with boudoir sessions that aren’t applicable for family sessions:
Studio rental ($100 per session)
Props ($100 per session)
What the numbers above don’t include are the hundreds of hours (and thousands of dollars) spent on boudoir-specific education and formal training, the thousands spent per year on software, websites, business licensing and insurance, the hard costs on ordering albums and prints, the expensive equipment, the credit card processing fees, and then the big kicker; the 30-35% taken off the top in taxes.
Because of the time-intensive nature of boudoir photography, I also can’t take on as many clients as I could if I were only doing family portraits, so there is a pretty hard limit to the number of sessions I can do in a week, month, or year.
Absolutely. You can always find boudoir photographers who charge less, but it is often because they are either much newer, without the experience and education to provide excellent service and an amazing end result, or because they’re offering a very stripped down (no pun intended) version of the service where not as much time is spent on education, prep, body image, etc. While the phrase “You get what you pay for” is not always true, it is often true when it comes to photography in any genre. As a wise person once said, if you want fast food prices, you’re going to get fast food quality.
Maybe after reading this, you have a better understanding of why boudoir photography is more expensive than other kinds of portraiture. And maybe you feel like “Yes this is great, and I want to try it, but this is still out of my budget!” and that is totally reasonable. I’m a big believer in the importance of sticking to a budget! Most boudoir photographers (myself included!) offer flexible payment plans for up to a year prior to your session. If this is an experience you think would be helpful for you (and it’s definitely one you deserve to have), consider saving up for the session you want with the photographer you want, and if that’s me (yay!), just know that I offer super flexible pre-payment plans to help you plan for the session you want to have! Hit me up with any questions, or visit my FAQ page here for more info!
—Sam
She absolutely rocked it, and was happy to play around with flowers, crowns, and that badass sparkle robe! Thank you, Miss H, for your wonderful spirit and for posing for these lovely photos!
—Sam
Much like the age old question of “What the heck do I do with my hands?”, the question of “What should I wear?” has been plaguing people contemplating boudoir sessions for forever.
Here are 7 outfit ideas that work perfectly for boudoir!
A good bodysuit comes in a variety of styles, can cover up NSFW bits (or not), and you can spend a ton of money on them or very little, depending on your budget! Bodysuits are also nice because they cover the same areas as a bathing suit, so if you’re not used to being unclothed in front of other humans, or are feeling more shy at the beginning of your session, these are a great way to ease into the session with comfort!
Much like bodysuits, bra + panty sets (particularly in classic colors like black, blue, etc.) can be easily found, can be as comfy or elaborate as you want, and you can find them on a budget when needed! I’m particularly fond of matching sets!
Robes can be paired with just about anything (or you can go bare underneath) and can be as modest or as sheer as you like. Also, robes are super fun to swish around and help with that “What the heck do I do with my hands?” question! Use it like a cape and feel like the badass superhero you are!
Yep, there’s no reason you can’t wear street clothes! I’m talking sparkly tank tops, suit jackets, anything you want really. Boudoir + Empowerment sessions are about what make you feel empowered and like your most badass self. If that’s a suit, go for it!
No for real though, if kink is your thing, why not incorporate it into your photos! Bust out that rope, or that leather, or bring a partner, and have fun!
Okay, so maybe this isn’t exactly outfit advice, but accessories can do the same thing for boudoir photos as they can for a night out - just jazz things up a little! Whether you want your accessories to tell a story (like disability themed items) or whether you just want to add some sparkle or pizazz, try adding a little something for your photos!
If you’re comfortable with it, going naked or near naked (maybe with a sheet or some such) is just about the easiest outfit you can go with! Nudes or implied nudity is a classic boudoir look, and particularly if you’re working on your body image, nude photos can be a powerful tool in learning to embrace your body exactly as it is right now.
Enjoy these great outfit ideas, or come up with some of your own!
—Sam
And, of course, Sami delivered exactly the type of femme top energy this world needs.
Enjoy the photos, and if you want to book a session, channeling whatever type of energy you want more of in your life, hit me up!
-Sam
When Kate asked me my thoughts on a disability-themed boudoir session, which would be a juxtaposition of traditionally “sexy” outfits and poses contrasted against the every day realities of living with disability, I was immediately in. As we worked out the details, I got even more excited for the session, but I couldn’t have imagined how powerful the experience would be, even for me.
Kate and I both have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), a connective tissue disorder that impacts how our bodies produce collagen. It sounds like such a little thing, but it profoundly impacts almost every aspect of our lives. Whereas I (and my son, Ben) have the Hypermobile subtype of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, (also known as hEDS), Kate has the Classical subtype (also known as ClEDS). We have overlapping symptoms, but Kate’s symptoms predominantly affect her skin (scarring, wound healing issues, etc.) as well as her tendons/ligaments, which has had a significant impact on her mobility. She and I talk a lot about the impact of disability on our experience of day to day life, and how it can be very easy as fat, disabled women to feel invisible, and to feel like the exact opposite of what’s sold to us in the media as “sexy”.
Wanting to reclaim power in a fat, disabled body is something that is deeply personal to both of us, and to be able to collaborate on a project in this realm was so meaningful for me. I literally cried while editing the photos, not to mention the fact that we had such a fun (and emotional) time during the shoot. I could go on and on for ages, but I thought it would be way more impactful to ask Kate some questions about her experience. Check out her thoughts below!
What made you decide that now was the time to book a session?
I'd never really been the kind of person who felt like boudoir photography was for me. My entire life, I'd been the opposite of what the media and society called sexy--I'm fat, shy, have a chronic medical condition, I'm covered with bruises and scars. I don't really wear lingerie or sexy clothes. Doing my hair and makeup is more of a pain than anything. I have never considered myself especially attractive without someone, usually male, insisting I was. Based on these criteria, I figured it wasn't worth the money to get boudoir photos taken. Even once I got married and considered getting them for my husband as a gift, I figured he would want a new video gaming system more than just some photos of me trying to be sexy (something I didn't feel especially good at anyway).
I wear a knee-foot-ankle orthotic (KAFO) on one leg and a knee brace on the other leg, and hiking boots to provide support to my feet and ankles. I was getting ready for work one day, and all I had on at the time was my bra, underwear, braces, and hiking boots. As I was traipsing around my house, I laughed a little at myself and thought, some women seduce their husbands with stocking and high heels. For me, it's hiking boots and medical braces. From that thought, the idea of doing a boudoir shoot, but using assistive devices and medical equipment with the stereotypical sexy elements was born.
I texted Sam the idea when I got to work and then couldn't look at my phone for a while. That's when the doubt set in. It's a stupid idea. Who's going to want to see the photos anyway? Why get photos taken that I don't want to show to anyone? It had probably been done before--here I was, thinking I was all original or something. When I was finally able to check my phone, Sam had texted back: "I would LOVE to do a session like that! If you're down I would totally do it. Like seriously, I love it." That was all the reassurance I needed.
What were you hoping to get out of the experience?
At first, I thought it would just be a fun experience with a friend. I knew I'd get some photos that maybe I'd look back on some day and remember having a good time with Sam. There was a small part of me that wanted photos that I could share of a disabled, fat girl being stereotypically sexy, and that they would spread around the internet and inspire other people to get their photos done as well. But that's just about the actual product from the session. I didn't think very much about the experience of the session itself or how I might feel about the photos or myself after.
Describe what the session was like for you.
It was a ridiculous amount of fun! I've been friends with Sam for a while, and I know her thoughts and opinions on body acceptance/positivity/liberation, fat acceptance/fatphobia, disability, living with chronic illness. Knowing how in sync we are on a lot of those topics made it so much easier for me to trust her and allow myself to do something with her that I'd never considered "for me"--and allow her to document it! Even though I know Sam well, I feel like she would put anyone at ease. I laughed so much, and only part of the time was it because Sam was making me do something that felt silly (but ultimately looked great!)
I went through a range of emotions since we were incorporating a number of things that have always been an object of distress for me--most notably my leg braces and my wheelchair. There was anger, and sadness, and some real reflection on why bodies like mine (and devices that can be so helpful and freeing for people) are met with such derision. Sam had the idea to put the flowers in my braces, and while she was shooting those photos, I thought, Oh, it's like a funeral for my legs. And I started to tear up because I miss a lot of what I could do before I became so limited in my mobility.
Immediately after I started tearing up, Sam told me we were doing the "fuck you, chronic illness" powerful shot. I can see the tears in my eyes in some of those photos (or know they were there), which makes it all the more powerful to me. Our feelings about our bodies, our mental health in general, and our attitudes towards disability are also shunned and derided. We're not supposed to be negative; we're not supposed to give into our limitations; we're supposed to be smiling and positive-minded all the time; "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" *eye roll* However, there's real strength in accepting your limitations and changing the world around you to conform to your needs--physical, mental, or emotional--and not the other way around. Feelings can be fragile, but they aren't weak.
Was there anything that surprised you about how the session went?
I was surprised at how quickly it went, and despite Sam's multiple warnings, how absolutely exhausted I was after. Getting into poses, holding them, changing positions and outfits, standing, sitting, laying, having a fan pointed at you for hours--it all wears on you!
A comment Sam made during the session has stuck with me. I had my mostly black braces and hiking boots on, and Sam said, "You know, you really look like you have some badass, Sara Connor exo-skeleton armor on there." I stopped and was speechless. She continued, "I mean, really, they look like thigh high boots." NEVER in the years I've been wearing various types of knee, ankle, and leg braces did I ever think they could look sexy, cool, or, heaven forbid, BOTH. It was just an off-handed comment Sam made, but it changed my perspective completely. Now, when I am putting them on, I don't hate them quite as much. In fact, I just remind myself that I'm giving myself +5 to armor.
Describe how the image reveal went for you.
I'd been thinking about how I would feel about seeing the images for weeks before Sam even took them. The last couple of times I've had formal photos taken, I haven't been happy with how I looked--mostly, I didn't like how fat I looked. Since then, I've done a lot of work on my body image, learning about fatphobia, the colonialist roots of our current beauty ideals, disability acceptance and politics, and what that all means to me. Even so, I was still nervous about seeing all of me exposed. Sam had my photos ready sooner than she had anticipated, but even though I was excited to see them, and she was excited to show them to me, I asked her to wait to do the reveal for a few days so I could make sure I was really in the right headspace for it.
The image reveal was both better than I expected and more difficult. The better part was how much I really loved (and still love!) the photos! I tried to give credit to Sam for her artistry and talent, but she just responded with "it's all you. I just clicked the button." I loved the photos so, so much. To see my smile, despite wearing my knee braces, to see me laughing in my wheelchair, to see my big belly exposed and still consider the photo sexy...I wasn't prepared for that and how amazing I would feel about it.
The difficult part was that there were still photos that I didn't like or didn't want to see because I didn't like how I looked. I picked them apart in my head and judged myself by standards I know are arbitrary. Those are the ones I've been really sitting with and trying to love.
What was the hardest part of the experience for you?
Matching the idea of what I look like in my head to what I saw during the session and in the photos. I don't have a very accurate self-image in my head, so whenever I see myself in a mirror or a photo, I wind up disappointed. There were a lot of reminders during the session of how my body doesn't measure up--it's broken, it's fat, it doesn't work great, a lot of people would find it disgusting. But anyone who has enjoyed my company, loved me, cared about me, wanted to have me around me, found me funny or attractive or yes, even sexy, who has hugged me or kissed me did it while I was in THIS body. No one else who has loved me ever cared that I was fat or disabled. So why was it so important to me? I'm still working on that part.
What were you the most excited about as a result of the experience?
I kind of hinted at it in the previous answer, but I've revised the opinion that I'm not sexy or I'm not the kind of person who can be sexy. I may not feel sexy on a regular basis, but if I want to, I can. I've been at war with my body so long, apologizing for it, hiding it, worried about what other people thought of it. I'm almost 40, and as cliched as it sounds, I regret the years I've lost fighting my body and hating it for what it isn't. I'm excited to learn how to love myself--physically, mentally, and emotionally.
What would you say to someone considering booking a session?
Do it right now, if you feel ready for it. But don't wait until everything is perfect--then you'll never do it. The experience itself is fun and empowering. The images are just that--images. The feeling of knowing yourself in your own body--reflecting on what you're doing, why, and how you feel about it, THAT'S the reason to do it. And if there are some kick-ass images of your lovely self as well (which there will be), then all the better.
- Sam
Boudoir is for every body. Enjoy some of my absolute favorites from this last year, and I can’t wait to take more!
—Sam
